Just think yourself lucky you're not in my head right now, because this is stuck on repeat ^^
This is 'one of those' posts I've meant to make for a while, but (I'll admit) I've avoided because I needed to say it right, and that required me to stop and not think about gaming.
There are an awful lot of grey areas when I do game. However, in the main I am lucky enough not to have to deal with people unless it's on my own terms, and those are (95% of the time) free from a lot of the issues that I am well aware cause a problem for other women. I have read and noted comments of this from across the spectrum, and part of me is encouraged that lots of people feel comfortable enough to talk about subjects wrapped up in the sphere of feminism without fear and with a great deal of intelligence to boot. I'm also well aware that the Internet is like an iceberg when it comes to what you can actually see: most of the real and genuine trauma is below my personal waterline, and therefore I often fail to see it altogether until it tears a hole in my side and snaps me in two. This has happened a few times in my life, and the best lesson I think I ever learnt about maintaining equilibrium online was the simplest: always know your exits. The same could be said for any situation where the onus is on you, I suppose.
Inside my head is utterly subjective, a fact I am continually reminded of. Most days if something aggrieves me or someone/something online upsets the equilibrium, my first port of call is always offline, and to my husband. He is my sounding block, but even he will have his moments when I'll be forced to give him THAT LOOK that this wife hopes designates suitable indignation/disgust/amazement at his response. Everyone is human, after all, and we all have moments, but it is one thing to admit this and another to continually fail to grasp that certain things are just common decency. We're having to teach this to an 11 year old right now, and it's a sobering lesson in how the foundations we lay with care and thought are normally the ones that survive the longest.
The ones we have covered so far are where I stand on these subjects:
- Words like 'rape' and 'retard' are not jokes, they refer to serious subjects that deserve to be treated as such. If you don't actually understand what a word means, don't use it.
- Women are capable of exactly the same thing as men are. Yes, men are physically more capable, but only to a point.
- Everyone is equal, and should be treated as such.
- What someone looks like has ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING on what kind of person they are.
I also try and impress on both my kids that just because they play online in their own home, that doesn't mean that everything is safe, and that everyone can be trusted. When you reduce such things down to simplistic terms it's easy to forget how grey the areas can become, and how potentially dangerous not following the rules can be. It's also easy to overlook the fact that not having an opinion on certain issues can be as dangerous as saying nothing at all. Silence should never be the option for anyone. Unless you subscribe to reincarnation, there's precious little time for anyone to hear your voice, and everyone should have the right to say what they wish, even if some people may not like it.
I thought it was probably time I put my hand up and made my comment on a subject I know drives a lot of people whose work I read on a regular basis. I'm not pretending to be anything I'm not, and I'm very aware that there is a lot more I could do to make my life more accountable to the basic ideals that drive me. For now, consider this a colour pinned to a flag.
In my head, I know it's important that people understand what I am.